Career Development Plans (not 'Reviews' anymore, remember?) are still top of mind this month, and a lot of people associated with the feeling of judgement rather than opportunity in my previous post.
I initially thought this post was for the people running CDP's, but then I realised it can be applied by the employee or the employer - we're all just people after all!
So what I'm talking about it the Platinum Rule. According to the Urban Dictionary:
"The Platinum Rule far predates the How I Met Your Mother episode of the same name. It is similar to the Golden Rule, but more considerate. It states "Do unto others as they would have you do unto them, not as you would have them do unto you."
Basically, treat others as THEY wish to be treated, not how you would wish them to treat you."
Does this make sense?
I hadn't realised books had been written about this. There are even 'How I Met Your Mother' episodes about it apparently! But I first heard it a couple of weeks ago and have been spouting it to anyone who will listen ever since!
I’ve trained in Workplace Coaching, NLP and extendedDISC Profiling.
These weren’t chosen at random, they’re specific courses that help me be the Coach I want to be, and give me the skills to develop the space that I love – people and culture.
Growing up Irish Catholic and now being the mum of a toddler, I am well used to the Golden Rule – “Treat others as you wish to be treated”. To be fair, I will still use the Golden Rule on my toddler, often in more of a ”How would you like it?!” strained voice while avoiding death stares from whoever he’s just stolen a toy from.
But the Platinum Rule perfectly sums up my mission to improve creative cultures.
Treat others as they wish to be treated.
It’s not about you, my way or the high way – it’s how your message lands and how they'll react.
Whether it’s for your benefit, or for theirs, knowing another persons style/type/personality – or the even more obvious gender or generation – and being consciously aware of your similarities and differences completely changes the game.
extendedDISC is a brilliant tool. It's like Myers Briggs on steroids, and can create a staggering amount of profiling reports. Profiling will tell you if the person is being someone they’re not, and how they behave under stress. But if you haven’t done any team profiling recently, you can probably make some assumptions first up.If all you have is face value, I’d bet you could hazard a guess if someone is a Dominant Eagle, a People Pleaser, a Slow & Steady or the Mother Hen.
Let’s be honest, this knowledge will get you more of what you want and help your teams work more efficiently.
Having a one size fits all approach to each job title can be pretty short sighted. There are some mandatories, sure, but penalising someone for not being able to do something they’re s*** at will not motivate them, and it’s likely training them up won’t either. If it’s not a skill that comes naturally it’ll take twice the effort and create half the results of someone who’s a natural at it.
People want to play to their strengths.
If you’re an extrovert and you treat someone as you wish to be treated, it could be 100% well meaning but 100% hellish for them. It’s the difference between celebrating a win quietly, via email and cc-ing in the big bosses. Or ringing a bell, getting everyone’s attention and announcing that person’s win to the whole office. And/or, god forbid, asking an introvert to follow that up with a quick speech!
Adrenalin rush for some, Anxiety attack for others…
Which one are you?
This knowledge can be used in negotiations too, but this post is about making others feel good at work.
The thing is though it's not touch-feely, meditation stuff, so suck it up Baby Boomers and Millenials alike - there is no one approach, adapting to your environment and your audience is how you get ahead and create high performing teams.
Making others feel good and allowing them the freedom to work to their strengths, and air their opinions, is effective, productive and creates an environment people want to work in.
And if you'd like me to come and make a speech about that to 200 people, just let me know ;)